Putting Your Foot Down With A Firm Hand!
By Nick Ashton, Founder, CEO, Tracometry Group of Companies.
I just saw
a Wanted Poster for Discipline. Where have the ground rules for life
gone? Today’s parents, if there is such
a thing, do nothing but sit back, threaten that they will do something
regarding their children’s misbehaving and go on about their own disastrous slide
to failure.
WTF! Where’s The Family?
What
happened to respect for parents and elders?
I was born in an era of saying “yes
sir” and “no sir”, doing chores
and knowing right from wrong.
Sure, I
played on the streets with other children and had to be home at a certain
time. You dare not be late or past that
time, as you knew that what your parents told you was the truth and you dare
not break the rules. The wrath of a
parent meant something!
I am the
eldest of a family of eventually eight.
I had five years of being the only child and then, one by one they
dropped in and we became the typical British dysfunctional family. I was born on the tail end of the 1940’s,
1949, I had a Ration Book from the
War years and it was not the happiest of times, austerity was still in place
and a sick King George VI is on the throne.
My mother
was a young seventeen year old, married to a much older man, her parents, my grandparents,
were well to do people, my grandfather was a banker with the Royal Bank of
Scotland and my grandmother, a stay at home person. Not sure what she did, but I loved her
company and she was a great influence in my life.
If I
stepped out of line, it was my mother who dished out the punishment. I mean a hard authoritarian women, who today,
under our so called child abuse laws, would be in prison. She did not use her hand or belt to my
backside to instill discipline, it was the Joan
Crawford’s style of the wooden coat hanger or later, the cricket bat.
Did I
deserve such treatment? Yes, I was a
tear-away for a while and the sense was knocked in to me. Am I any worse the wear for those whacks on
my arse? No, it taught me the strength
and pain of doing wrong and being brought back into line.
My mother never
threatened me with death or bodily harm, although I never did understand the
catch phrase of “this will hurt me, more
than it hurts you.”
There are some
that state, because it’s the child’s bottom that gets stung, it appears at
first glance that the child is the one who gets hurt. Clearly, an adult hand
can tolerate more violence than a child’s tender backside can. Yes, children
who are spanked regularly can hurt as much on the inside as they do on the
outside. True, some of the psychological scars inflicted by hitting children
can take years to heal. There is no doubt that spanking children hurts them in
many ways. And yet the supposition remains: maybe spanking a child does hurt
the parent as much or more than it does the child.
I disagree
and think as long as you follow up with your statement of discipline then do
so. I loath hearing the phrase in the
supermarket of a parent threatening a misbehaving child, “if you do that one more
time I whip your arse.” They never do
and the child knows that and continues to stretch the relationship. No wonder parents want the kids out of the
house, so they can pop more over the counter self-medication or have Coors
assist them in calming themselves down.
The reason
we are seeing so many children on the streets, in shopping malls and members of
gangs is simple, failure of parenting. They
lack love and affection and turn to misguided opportunities.
The single
parent syndrome is no excuse, discipline comes from a parent, male or
female. Ground rules that are adhered
to. Society is as much to blame as the parent.
We have
wrapped our children in laws to protect them, which are doing more harm than
good. As kid, I played outside in the
dirt and ate my fair share of worms and bugs, didn't do me any harm, in fact
doctors state that it builds up the immune system. That is what is lacking today, real life, understanding the
streets. There is so much hatred out
there and children killing children
that it is growing at such an exponential rate our society will have a hole in
statistics of missing males.
It is a societal
issue and one of intelligence, education and color. Do not let me grace this blog with the facts
that many do not want to hear.
Ignorance knows no color, but the
morgues of America do!
WTF!
Where’s The Family?
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